Bubble Talk

Another day, another dollar, another medieval history scholar. That would be your motto if you were a bounty hunter who solely went after history professors. However, as that field has really yet to start booming, what I said applies to no one. So, let's try another day, another dollar, another 6 inches taller. That would be your motto if you had a pituitary gland problem. I've been trying to get one of those disorders, but not such luck. Let's try another day, another dollar, another elizabethan collar. Now that is totally me.

Well, I don't know if you people follow the weather or not, but it was 105 degrees in Austin today. And before you say, "Wow, that was hot!", let me tell you that was Celsius. So, it was roughly 230 degrees F, meaning that you do not want to walk around with a cup of water unless you want it boiled. Obviously that interrupted my plans a little bit, as I had set this afternoon aside to walk the streets and fling water in the face of anyone I saw who couldn't tell me Dick Cheney's email address. That plan was cancelled. Instead, I sat in my office and whimpered softly, wondering why I had moved to a city that's apparently 4 feet away from the sun. When it's that hot, you realize what a sweet deal those sick people have who are forced to live in bubbles. It's 75 in there all year round, unless you want to simulate an eskimo environment. And that should be your choice; you're sick and thus a hero. I imagine that's one of the main selling points for the medical bubble, all that crap.

But the bubble has its downside. Imagine trying to play a game of Risk while in the bubble. Who is going to move for you? You know your cousin isn't going to do it for you because he doesn't even know which spot New Guinea is on the board. Any sort of strategy goes out the window right there, and you may as well declare the tickle fight to be your first line of defense. Second, what about thumb wars? How can you solve any arguments when you can't carry one of these out? What are you going to do, have a verbal thumb war? I don't think so. And even if you did and you won, it wouldn't be like a real victory because maybe the guy just let you win because of the bubble. Yes, it is a double edged sword, the medical bubble.