Top Search Terms Investigated

One of the great joys of running an internationally acclaimed website is the groupies. Another joy is seeing the search terms people plug into Google to get to this site. The top 3 terms people use to get here are: goulash, monkey pox, and Carlos Jacott. Let's see, do we have those three things on this site? Let me check out back. I think the answer there is definitely check, check, CHECK.

The next 3 terms people use to get here are a little harder to understand. They are: extreme foods, hair cuts, how to sabotage a car. While I haven't really gone into these topics at length, I'm definitely on the same wave-length as these people. You tell me, folks, is a combination of cinnamon toast, miniature pickles, and sea urchin EXTREME enough for you? Oh, did I forget to mention that the whole thing is on fire, and I eat it while I'm jumping out of an airplane made out of knives? Furthermore, anyone who doubts my ability to sabotage a car just needs to ask Mr. Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan what happened last May when he refused to even look at my new script "Crocodile Dundee 4: That Ain't No Wallabee!" I don't want to brag too much, but I planted a bunch of Yeti eggs under his backseat. Six months later, those things hatched, totally ruining the upholstery. Not only that, but since they saw Paul Hogan first, they thought he was their mother. It just proves my old saying: revenge is a dish best served cold, with a side of Yeti eggs.

Looking at the rest of the search terms, I'm a little less impressed with the people. Fancy boy, corn dogs, basset hound diet. Who are you guys, my 2nd ex-wife? Inside joke, as she wanted to feed me, the fancy boy, and Little Bow Wow, the basset hound, a diet that consisted of nothing but corn dogs. How did we get her back, you might ask. Well for that, we utilized the 10th most popular search term, pee in a cup. And I'll leave the rest to your imagination.

PS: New entry up on CarlosJacott.com.

Posted by Cody at October 27, 2003 06:18 PM