The Fancy Boy Reads

First of all, go get your Jacott on, as I just posted some new stuff. Secondly, I have been thinking about taking some of my stuff (both from this website and from my notebook of bawdy, yet refined haiku) and reading it in public. In theory, it sounds fun, and the people I've asked about it have been supportive. Whenever I think about actually doing this though, I am petrified because I don't know if the people there will be ready for some goulash. The only idea of open mic nights I have come from Archie comics and re-runs of Sister, Sister, so I'm imagining something like this:

The room is dim and smoky. On stage, there is a white guy with dreadlocks, shaking maracas and screaming "Quarter for the bus!" over and over again. Eventually, he starts crying, and is met with a standing ovation. Then, I am pushed onto the stage. In the minute it takes me to find what I'm going to read, someone from the audience has thrown a bottle of green tea at me. Finally, I find my place and begin. "So Bronson Pinchot and James Earl Jones go on this camping trip..." All of a sudden, everyone in the place rises up against me, and I am beaten savagely with rain sticks and vegan cookbooks.

Nevertheless, I am going to try to soldier on and do this thing. I sent out quite a few emails today to the people I know in this city who might be familiar with a non-lame place I could read, and I've got some good responses so far: strip joint, the bathroom of a public park, wig store. Dare I go for the trifecta with all three? Just to let you guys know, even when I am propelled to super-stardom from my standing-room only performances at the nation's leading bingo parlors, I will still refuse to answer any email that you people send me.

Posted by Cody at November 3, 2003 05:51 PM