The Burned Man

Like any truly great event, the pun-off was as painful as it was enjoyable. The contestants were true masters of the art, and any thought I had about entering was quickly dissipated when those guys started rocking the mic. It was a lot of fun. However, it also really bright and shiny outside, and so I, being the honkiest of honkeys, burst into flames immediately. If I can just figure out a way for nothing to touch my thighs or toes for the next few days, I think I will live. But anyway, one part of the pun-off was where the contestants would be given a subject, and then they had to trade puns back and forth on it until someone ran out. Here are a few of the ones I came up with, when I wasn't babbling incoherently from of a combination of ant bites and sun stroke:

Topic: diseases.
She's a good cook, but I don't like herpes.

Topic: astronomy.
I've had a shooting pain in my posterior for the past few weeks. I finally went to the doctor yesterday. When I pulled down my pants to show him the afflicted area, he took one look and said, "Ast-e-roids!"

It occurs to me now that puns don't really come across very well when you write them down, not to mention that I need to curtail this pun thing immediately before I am deemed the world's lamest individual. Nevertheless, I maintain that both of these puns are great, and if you do not appreciate them, it reflects very poorly on your character.

In other news, my cat has taken to napping inside of my computer case. The case is exposed, so she can crawl in right under the sound card and the hard drive. While I'm no pet psychic, I think she's expressing her desire to be a cyborg. Part cat, part computer, all feistiness. Must I even elaborate on how exciting this is? The whole one-eyed thing is really convenient, since I can put in laser vision for the missing eye. I just need to find a Cybernetic Cats for Dummies book at the library and we'll soon be off on this adventure.

Posted by Cody at May 16, 2004 04:11 PM