I don't mean to get everybody's panties in a bunch, but I'm thinking of doing a run of themed entries soon. My first idea for a theme: the lost classics of Chilean erotica. The only problem is that subject is a little too broad for one website to cover, no matter how many entries I devoted. So, I'm going to be doing something next week that ties in to the upcoming Austin City Limits music festival. It's going to be so sweet, it'll give you a cavity, leading to the following awkward conversation.
Dentist: Good gravy, I've never seen such rotten teeth! Have you been brushing your teeth with cake frosting?
You: No, but I've been living on Goulash for the past year.
Dentist: That's disgusting.
You: No, it's a website, you see.
Dentist: A web-what? Are you a witch? Nurse, bring me some rope, a buttload of wood, and a barrel of holy water!
Author's note: it's highly doubtful that such an individual could successfully operate a dental practice, but I like to get creative with these things.
For some reason, Marlboro invited me to a Cowboy Breakfast thing they're having in town on Saturday. Not being one to hog all the fun, I have elected to drag Eric to this, as it will be his birthday. There a lot of questions related to this event, the two foremost being "What the hell is a cowboy breakfast?" and "How did I get invited to one?" From what I can figure, a cowboy breakfast is a chance for a group of manly men to sit around eating omelettes from a dead bull's skull and talking about tobaccy. And I have absolutely no idea how I got invited to this, since I'm not a smoker, a cowboy, or a breakfast eater. All I can think is that Marlboro got their hands on the tasteful series of nude sketches I made of the Marlboro Man, and said, "We want to be in the Cody Powell business!"
More than all of that though, I have to wonder how far we're going to go with this cowboy thing. Am I allowed to engage the waiter in a shoot out if he doesn't bring my orange juice quick enough? If I happen to kill a Comanche in the bathroom, will I be encouraged or disdained? And for the love of god, what's their stance on cattle rustling? This cowpoke demands answers.Posted by Cody at September 8, 2004 06:16 PM