Wooooooooo, tomorrow is my birthday! When I was but a sprout, I dreamed that one day, I'd live in a duplex and write software for the oil and gas industry. Who could've guessed I'd have it all by 25?
I'm never any good at identifying what I want each year for my birthday. I always say, "I don't know, pants or guns or cupcakes or something." This year, I decided to be as specific as possible. Whenever someone asked me that question, I'd pull them close to me, bring my mouth to their ear, and whisper, "All I want is to see my enemies suffer." And then I'd hand them my enemies list, complete with name, address, and the reason for my grievance with that person.
A short excerpt
Name: the entire cast and crew of Chipmunks on Ice, circa 1987
Address: Not sure, but would start looking in cities with large ice rinks
Grievance: While in costume, collectively called me a nancy boy when I asked for an autograph. This scared me so much that I went my pants, which brought another round of jeers.
Like the mighty oak, another ring of wood goes around my trunk tomorrow. Car insurance goes down, the gray hairs continue to go up, and any cookie cakes that cross my path get destroyed.Posted by Cody at March 21, 2006 06:35 PM