Setting the Issues

Clearly, the Internet is aflame with discussion of Crude Oil House vs. Solid Gold House. I'm having a hard time making up my mind.

Pro Solid Gold
I really like the image Danza presented, of chipping off a chunk of your porch and using it to buy beer. And as far as the oil house being like a giant, cubed waterbed... well, I don't know if that's such a good thing. What if you're a skinny little lady and you live with a big fatso? Every time Fatty McGoobersmooch took a step on a floor where you happened to be standing, you'd shoot up towards the ceiling. It wouldn't hurt that much to whang your head since it's just a big bag of oil that you'd hit, but still, it doesn't sound fun. Strike that; it only sounds fun for a little while. Finally, what about the smell? Imagine living in Texas in the summer, and being surrounded by hot, bubbling crude oil. Blargh-up (international vomit sound).

Pro Crude Oil
Like another comment said, what if you tripped and fell on your gold floor? That would hurt, especially if you're an old person or a little baby. You'd have to tell all of your hemophiliac friends to stay out in the yard. Also, in a post-apocalyptic situation, I think the crude oil would be more useful (think Waterworld and sand). I'd have no idea how to refine it or process it, but at least you'd have a shot. Finally, what about looters? With a house of gold, you'd be under contest attack. With a house made of packed bags of unknown stuff, people would definitely leave you. It could be feces or human heads or anything!

Final decision: gold narrowly wins. I just couldn't handle the smell of the oil. I think a house of peanut brittle would be the best of them all, though. You could eat it with no preparations, it's not enough valuable to loot, and little chunks of it would make fine weapons.