Today at work, my phone rang for the first time. I wasn't scared; I was prepared for it. I had spent 96 straight hours watching it, setting up elaborate booby traps so that when it rang, I'd be ready. I was prepared for that phone to ring, and when it rang, I answered it with gusto. I bellowed my war cry: "This is Cody," and waited for Mr Telephono's next room.
As ready as I was to pick up the phone, there's no way I could've prepared for what the other person on the line said: "Hey baby girl." Hmm, hey baby girl. Was it a wrong number or was it the start of a terrifying love affair? As exciting as the latter sounded, I decided to go for the former. I said, "Sorry, no baby girls here," and hung the phone up real quick-like.
The weird thing about that conversation is how I had already spoken and everything when that guy said "Hey baby girl", so I don't know if his baby girl sounds like me or she regularly answers the phone by saying "This is Cody". Maybe he just wanted to call someone baby girl, and he picked me at random. Better yet, maybe it was code talk signalling me that the revolution had started. After all, they never said the revolution wouldn't be telephoned. I think that is a little unlikely, as I saw no white people strung up on my way back home tonight. Oh well; we'll get them next time, comrades.
We have these company polo shirts that we're supposed to wear when we deal with customers. I have to wear mine on Wednesday when I do some training stuff with some people, and I wasn't too worried about ti because I'd seen everyone else's company shirts and they were very nice and dignified. Little did I know that I'd be getting a light orange one. Everyone else's is white, and mine is decidedly nonwhite. So, I'm already preparing comebacks from when I'm mocked. Here's one scenario I'm imagining:
Fellow Employee: Well, I didn't know tangerines were in season.
Me: Oh yeah? At least tangerines are well rounded!
As you can see, I have nothing to worry about.