Corndogs in Space

Well, I scored quite a coup today at the grocery store. I bought $40 worth of food, mainly pixie sticks and Colt 45, and when I was checking out, the cashier told me that because of my purchases, I got $.25 worth of gas. Goodness me, if only I had the foresight to buy some dixie cups! I'm not sure who came up with the idea of rewarding the customer with .00625 of a cent of gas for each dollar spent, but kudos and kudos again. You know, I'd only have to spend $3200 at that rate to fill my car up, which is a pretty decent rate. Especially if you use gasoline squeezed from the utters of a mythical unicorn, as I do.

I watched a great movie tonight, Waking Life. Essentially, it's a movie about a guy who is dreaming and the conversations he has in this dream with various people on the meaning of life and other weighty matters. Maybe people do dream about profound things like this, but I don't. If someone were to make a movie version of my dreams, it'd be me, getting chased by a robot Jon Lovitz and then stopping for a minute to watch the occasional lesbian tickle-party. Of course, you'd have to strap on some 3d goggles to get the full effect, like with Captain Eo, and, also like Captain Eo, it will be one of the few movies to accurately depict what it's like to eat corn dogs in space with Michael Jackson.

Speaking of 3d, I remember lots of stuff coming with 3d goggles when I was younger. All the goggles seemed to be were cardboard, with red and blue saran wrap over the eye holes. Who knew that the secret to the next dimension was so simple? I imagine people had tried all different combinations of colors of saran wrap before a brilliant, young scientist, Thomas Edison probably, put together blue and red. And then, it all started coming together. He started inventing all sorts of stuff, like the lightbulb, phonograph, and the slap bracelet, because he saw one dimension more than everyone else. There's a lesson for us all here.