Extreme Foods

I think I am going to start taking a lot of peyote with dinner every night so I'll have something to write about in here. I can't write much tonight because tomorrow is Breakfast Taco Day at work, and I was specifically warned on several occasions that I had to get there early to get the good stuff. Thus, I have chained myself to the stove in the kitchen at my office 12 hours in advance. Also, I've triggered my pants to explode if I'm forced away from the tacos before I've had my fill. Yeah, I can disable the bomb with a code phrase, but I'm not giving it to you chumps. Hint: the secret phrase may or may not be 'Breakfast Taco Day'.

What's the difference between broth and soup? I don't really know, but I can tell you which one I prefer: the brizzoth. Let me tell you why. Soup is what you drink when you're sick, broth is what you fling at the eyes of the marauders who've come to burn down your peasant shack. It's like feisty soup that kicks your taste buds in the nuts. Am I wrong? At least that's where I'm going with Powell's Brand Broth: The Only Soup-like Food/Drink To Kick Your Taste Buds in the Nuts. We have to make the words really tiny on the label to get all of that on there.

Now folks, this isn't your Granny's broth, and I'll tell you why: we spike ours. Yeah, each can could be spiked with gin or pepto bismol or motor oil. We don't tell you which; we leave it up to you to figure it out. And what is that at the bottom of each can? A syringe, or maybe a tooth. It's the beginning of the Extreme Foods movement, and I encourage each of you to get a bite while it's hot.