Very Rich and Fabulously Handsome

Okay, first things first: Put on your Vaporub. I won't have you spreading your consumption around here. For some reason, I am thinking that someone I knew used to eat Vaporub rather than putting it on the accepted way, which is of course to rub it on your genitals. That's neither here nor there. Second, check out the latest issue of Haypenny. Why, what is that peaking around the corner? A little something by me, perhaps?

If you click my name on my Haypenny thing, you can read the bio I submitted to them. I was reading it over today and I realize now it isn't entirely in English. I quote: "Cody Powell has been Texas's leading wholesaler of navy and pinto for the past 22 years." "Navy and pinto what?" the people demand. I'm not going to clear that up for you; it's like a Choose Your Own Adventure. See, that's the thing about the very rich and the fabulously handsome: we often omit words from our sentences. And maybe your time would be better spent if you got serious about that Pilates shit that everyone else is doing and stopped going word for word through websites. You weiner.

Well friends, it is easy to get depressed about your current state in life, what with the monkey pox, the whole situation in the Congo which I may or may not understand, and the continuing mystery surrounding the Sasquatch. I am here to say that it could be much worse. Imagine we were Spaniards, holding grudges for decades because that dude at the farmers market used the tu form when addressing us, when it was clearly an usted situation. Imagine we were Mongols, and Genghis Khan was always bugging us to go raid some poor mud people, when all we want to do is work our way through that book of Mad Libs with our comely wife. But what are you going to say to Genghis? He's got that pointy stick! And finally, imagine we were living in the Dark Ages and we had to eat every meal with our hands. I imagine the food is kinda pointy, plus inconsistently warmed. Good luck getting your wife to tear up your food for you because she's got the bubonic plague. So, it's not so bad.