Carlos Jacott Fever

I rarely dream at night. I know that the "experts" say everyone dreams most of the night, but those experts can shove their sleep expertise into a cereal box and then take it out of the box with some cereal and then pour some milk on it and then eat it with a spoon! Yeah! I know they're wrong about the dreaming thing because a few years ago, I took a class called "How To Impress Others While You Sleep". What happens most nights is that I fall asleep in my bed, then I spend the next few hours in a sleepy genius mode, working up something really cool. I wake up the next morning and there is always a delightful surprise that I made the night before, like a sculpture of a beautiful woman, some charcoal sketches of famous landmarks, or a short story about Andy Griffith and his taffy recipes.

This weekend, I took a nap, which is something I generally don't do, and much to my surprise, I dreamt during this nap. Apparently my sleepy genius side only comes out when I'm sleeping at night. So anyway, I had this very elaborate dream regarding my favorite not-quite-celebrity. Of course, I'm speaking of none other than Carlos Jacott. You may be familiar with Mr. Jacott from films such as Kicking and Screaming, Mr. Jealousy, and Highball, or the tv show She Spies. Then again, you may not, in which case you are really missing out because Carlos brings the funny like nobody's business (here's a clip from Kicking and Screaming with Eric Stoltz, courtesy of NoahBaumbach.com).

In this dream, I went over to Carlos's house for a pool party. It should be obvious here it's a dream already because no one wants me over to their house. At least not while I'm insisting on bringing my kangaroo everywhere with me. People should realize that Hops McGee and I are a team, and he' sgoing where I'm going. In any event, we're all too scared to get into Carlos's pool at first, because he's being a crazy Hollywood guy like Marlon Brando or Tony Danza. Somehow, I end up slipping into his pool, thus angering Carlos. He challenges me to a contest where we jump off the diving board doing karate moves. Whoever does the best moves wins. The battle rages back and forth, like an epic dance war between two tapdance impresarios. The end result? We both admit our moves are awesome and become best friends.

Now, I am always hearing people try to figure out what their dreams mean. Assuming dreams mean something, what it does it mean to have a dream involving a pool party at Carlos Jacott's house? And then what does it mean to enter into some contest involving karate moves off the diving board? I'm not sure, but I suspect it means I rule. And yes, I agree that there is nothing more boring than someone posting on the internet about their dreams, but I am posting this in case I do find myself in this situation and then I can document my claims to being the Nostradamus of my apartment complex.

Posted by Cody at August 27, 2003 6:14 PM