Quarterly Report

I came across something intriguing today. Apparently, there is a virtual stock exchange set up where you can trade shares of different websites. According to this, this site is currently worth $1,277.74. Not too shabby, although I spend at least that much every month on wood glue and psychiatrist visits in order to write the stuff on here. Also, you're kidding yourself if you think that $1277.74 is enough to satisfy me. No sir, I shall show an almost deranged fascination with that number until it gets to a level I consider to be reasonable (two bazillion dollars). Now this site isn't going to get up into the bazillions with me sitting around here, talking about my rashes. I'm going to have to lure the investors in. That being said, this is my quarterly report to my shareholders on blogshares.com.

This has been a real quarter of excitement for codypowell.com. Not only did we reach a very nice settlement in our patent infringement lawsuit against the Hulk Hogan Waffle Iron Company, but we were also able to further leverage our most successful core business, that of course being in the field of Slip and Slide Consulting. We answered questions like "How does this Slip and Slide work?" and "Do I have to wear my bathing suit to get on the Slip and Slide?" for various multinational corporations, to the tune of hundreds and hundreds of dollars. As long as the Slip and Slide continues to bafle the consumer, we will continue to provide enterprise level Slip and Slide e-solutions.

Additionally, we have made significant progress in our marketing campaign. Codypowell.com is now the 6th result on Google when searching for goulash. In your face, Globalgourmet.com! Our continued climb up the rankings will ensure that in the future, when people are looking for goulash recipes, they will instead find this site and forget all about their hankering for goulash. And then they'll remember their broken Slip and Slide. See where this is going? It's called vertical integration, and we're all up in it like a son of a bitch here.

Looking at our financial statements, you may be wondering "What is this one time charge for 3 million dollars?" Well, July was Julio Iglesias month here at CP.com. We hired the man to follow us around our headquarters for the entire month, serenading us with his soulful Latin stylings. Totally worth it. Additionally, we experienced some budgetary problems related to our Free Waffles with Fixins Fridays. We will scale back on the Fixins immediately. I take full responsibility for this.

Overall, Codypowell.com is well positioned to kick ass and take names for the rest of the year. We have the tools, we have the talent, and we have the tortoises. By tortoises, I am referring to our new tortoise breeding experiment, where we are trying to breed pureblood, show quality tortoises. It's looking good. Additionally, we have invested heavily in treasure maps and metal detectors, and we think we just may find something soon. We are a growing, financially sound operation, no matter what the IRS and SEC say. They'll get their come-uppance.