Halloween Jokes

I am going to a Halloween party later this week, so I need to polish up on my scary Halloween jokes in order for me to entertain my friends with positively GHOULISH laughs! How did I do this? I locked myself in the Goulash Joke Lab for a few days, trying to come up with the best Halloween jokes in the universe. You be the judge as to whether or not I succeeded. Here's hint: I totally succeeded.

Why was there no food left after the monster party?
Everybody was a goblin.

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs, and an unstoppable hunger for the blood of all those he comes across?
Count Duckula

Why did the skeleton have trouble with a bowel movement?
The short answer is that he had no guts. To elaborate, the worms had eaten his innards, thus complicating the act of defecation.

What did Oprah Winfrey change her name to when she became a zombie?
Spookalicious Jones.

What did Dracula say to Miss Dracula, his loving wife?
Trick question, Dracula was a bat-chelor! That is to say, he preferred the company of other male vampires. What did he say then to his male vampire companion? "Let's have some gay vampire sex!"

Knock knock!
"Who's There?"
It's Frank!
"Frank Who?"
Frank, your buddy that you're about to go out on the double date with.
"Did you bring an attractive lady for me tonight?"
I sure did, take a look through the peephole.
"Well, I'm looking through the peephole, you son of a bitch, and all I see is the Bride of Frankenstein. You said you were bringing a sexy girl. What the hell is going on here?"
No, I said I was bringing a sexy GHOUL.
"What? I don't get it. Ohh, okay. Ghoul instead of girl. You know, those don't even sound that similar, Frank."
I know, but the Bride of Frankenstein said if I didn't get her laid, she'd punch my head off!

Posted by Cody at October 29, 2003 5:19 PM