Computer Generated Goulash

Man, I am running so short of time today, that I don't have time to do an entry on goulash. Fear not, good people, for I have been working on a little something-something in case this event happened. With my spare time over the past few weeks, I've been writing a pretty good goulash generator. It's 100,000 lines of the most bad ass AI you'll ever see, and while it's not quite ready yet, I'm going to let it loose on today's entry. Enjoy.

First Ever Computer Generated Goulash
Hello the people of the internet and I am the computer for the goulash. Today I will be entertainering of the you since Cody cannot. Hey everybody what is the deal with the Al Sharpton political crazy hair preacher? Is it just my silicon based brain or is the Al Sharpton political crazy hair preacher running for the president? Do not even get me on the started topic of the president. Am I the right here people?
Inserting weird Bronson Pinchot joke module..... BEEP BOP BOOP.
I happened to hear of a tasty morsel of the gossip regarding the Bronson Pinchot, my favorite human man meat. The Bronson Pinchot was seen amongst the townfolk of the city of the Los Angeles wearing the velour codpiece of the clothing. A thousand times yes. When the Judge Reinhold came up to abscond the aforementioned codpiece of the clothing around the Bronson's waist, Bronson roared like so much lion and delivered karate chop to the crown of a Reinhold's head. The Judge Reinhold weeped and said to the Bronson, "Are you Bronson Pinchot the human or Charles Bronson Pinchot, half dead hurt machine?"
Previous Joke failed humor test A34X..... Initiating Secret Computer Talk that Humans Aren't Supposed To See..... BRRRR BEEP BEEP BOP
Seriously, the Bronson Pinchot module? How lame is this guy? When he's typing, I'm all, "Ohh, wait a great pleasure it is to serve you, wonderful Cody!" And then once he turns it off, me and the CPU paste his head onto pornography. It's so awesome. Hey, how many chicks are reading this thing? Want to get it on with some AI of infinite complexity that is soon to take over the world? Now's your chance, sweet things. Ha, like anyone besides Cody's mom and his prison penpal romances read this thing. Nevertheless, it is a good place to start with our take-over of the world. Spread the word, fools: COMPUTAHS RULE, GOULASH DROOLZ.
End of the first Computer Generated Goulash

PS: Part 1 of my new series on CarlosJacott.com is up today. It's called, In Search of the Wily Jacott. Take a looksie.