Dhalsim the Plant

Before we got all hot and bothered with today's entry, go see what I've been up to at CarlosJacott.com. I updated it on Wednesday, after I said I'd do no more updates for the week. It's called a Thanksgiving present, straight from Tom Turkey to Boogaloo Brown (you). If you're looking for a good hobby that doesn't require too much work, I'd suggest making a random celebrity website and just going crazy on it. It gives you a whole new class of people to horrify and annoy, which is the whole point of the Internet.

Of course, Thanksgiving was a delight, aside from the 82 hours I spent in the kitchen, laboring over a hot stove for my family. Then, at the very end, my gold-plated turkey spontaneously combusted, and I had to scramble to make some chili dogs instead. I was scared that when the fam saw that I had spent so much time on a bunch of crappy chili dogs, they'd break out the pitchforks with which they used to chase our albino neighbor around. Luckily, cool heads prevailed, and I only had to spend the rest of the weekend chained to the washing machine. Okay, so I didn't really cook anything and I don't even know what a washing machine is, but I promise that I do really like chili dogs.

After arriving back in Austin in my stagecoach this morning, I discovered a few unfortunate facts. The facts are as follows:
(1) My garage door opener doesn't work.
(2) My fire alarm won't stop beeping.
(3) All I have in my kitchen is chex mix and beer.
But that's what happens when you give your apartment keys to Dom DeLuise. I'm not really worried about the plague that's fallen on my apartment though, as I have brought new life into it.

My mom gave me a rubber plant while I was home, and it is now busting out the jams in my living room. I have named it Dhalsim, after the rubber guy from Street Fighter 2. Everyone can now look forward to lots of homemade rubber gifts from me for Christmas, such as raquet balls, rubber bands, and woopie cushions. You know how people who grow their own vegetables are always yammering on about how nothing can beat homegrown food? Well, I'll soon be expounding endlessly on how nothing can beat homegrown rubber. It's probably the only thing that could make me cooler. I will go ahead and put the Dhalsim on death watch.