This site isn't all about weinerbiscuits and Bronson Pinchot; sometimes, it's about life lessons. That being said, I think one important thing to have in life is an enemy, and I will explain why. Some days, I just can't motivate myself to do anything. The Cody Powell Magic is like a volcano more than a river. On the days when I cannot summon the magic volcano to erupt (note how I wove those two things together), I'd be more than content to just sit in my underwear in my apartment and see how many miniature sweet pickles I can eat before puking. However, I very rarely do this, because whenever I start to rest on my laurels, I read my enemy's website and I am filled with fury. I must continue working just to spite the bastard. And that's pretty much the story of my life.
Now, a word on picking your enemy. It's probably not the best decision to declare a person from real life as your enemy. If you do that and they find out, then they can get their crooked buddies on the police force to trump up some charges against you. You think the DA is going to care? Think again. It's much better to pick a random Internet person. Allow me to tell you how I picked my enemy.
My enemy is a totally random dude, who got my attention by saying something bad about Carlos Jacott on his website. Not only this, but he seems like the type who would live with his mom, wear a sports jacket with a t shirt, and make it a point to say Deutschland instead of Germany; for that, he gets the title of enemy. It's not like it has to make a whole lot of sense. Then, once you've picked your enemy, the rest is easy. You just read their website, while shaking your fist towards the heavens. Occasionally, place a snooty anonymous comment on their site. The rest of it is just gravy.
I did pretty much the same thing with my college enemy, except that situation was super sweet because Will, Paddy, and I all shared the same enemy. We came up with nicknames for him and talked about him every day at lunch. We flew a little too close to the sun on that one though, because the guy went to school with us and was relatively close to us, socially speaking. We were always one step away from being caught. Did it ever happen, though? Hell no, because we had on our sneaky pants at all hours of the day. It was just the right amount of conflict, and I imagine that if I hadn't decided to point my frustration at the Beacon of Bliss (that was his code name), then it's highly unlikely I'd be making literally tens of thousands of dollars a year, and driving a replica Batmobile around town with my albino panda.
All I'm trying to say here is that if you want to be He Man, then sometimes you have to invent a Skeletor. Pick some weiner on the internet (preferrably not me), team up if you want to, and get to enemying. Then, when your spite drives you to the Heisman Trophy or the Academy Award for best set design, you can make your whole speech revolve around your enemy, and thus freak the crap out of them. Everyone's a winner.
Posted by Cody at November 9, 2003 5:30 PMThe Danza doesn't say Germany or Deutchland. The Danza refers to all European countries by their proper, Latin names. Who gave "France" the right to change their name from Gaul? And don't even get me started on "Portugal!" I say, if it's good enough for Caesar, it's good enough for The Danza.
P.S. Congrats on being the one and only entry for weinerbuscuit on the Googletron.
Posted by: Danza at November 9, 2003 8:08 PMI'm with you on the Gaul thing. That may have been the thing that precipitated the long French decline. One result today for weinerbiscuit, oen bajillion tomorrow.
Posted by: Cody at November 9, 2003 8:51 PM