Parrot Taser

Last night, I watched Kicking and Screaming with one of my friends who knew nothing of my obsession with Carlos Jacott. Whenever Carlos came on screen, I was really tempted to lean over and whisper, "I wonder if he has a website!" I think maybe that'll be my new hobby. I'll make a stranger watch a Carlos movie with me, and then I'll bombard them with questions about the existence of Carlos Jacott's website until they finally agree to check it out. Then, once the glory of CarlosJacott.com comes up, I'll yell out, "Aww, snap!" and start dancing the cabbage patch.

I don't mean to brag, but a certain someone whose name rhymes with Body Bayne Baxwell Bowell just got himself a fancy schmancy PDA at work. Actually, it's not a PDA, it's a taser gun that looks like a PDA. That way, whenever a criminal is about to beat my face to pudding, I can say, "Wait, let me show you this Excel spreadsheet!" He'll lean in to look, and then I'll introduce him to an old friend of mine, Mr. Johann Von ZappedButtocks. It'd be cool if they made taser guns that played that Peter Gabriel song "Shock the Monkey" after you got done shocking someone. Even the victim would have to laugh a little bit about that.

Okay, it doesn't really have the taser gun functionality. I don't even know what it does yet. I do know that there are parrots on the front of the box, as it is a ViewSonic product. So, extrapolating from that, I look forward to keeping up-to-the-minute stats on it regarding my flock's dietary and mating habits. It's about time someone brought a little bit of professionalism for the world of high-stakes parrot ownership. In other news, if you live in Austin, I encourage you to go check out the Christmas lights on 37th St. There's a Christmas robot and a volcano, just like the baby Jesus had. Very cool stuff.