Booze Bread

I've caught myself doing something very strange the past few days at lunch, so allow me to dissect the trivial action in pathologically graphic detail. I usually go home for lunch, and when this happens, I generally eat a sandwich. Nothing fancy on it like alfalfa sprouts on it or roasted manatee eyes, just bread, meat, cheese, mustard. Just like the Disciples used to eat. What I've discovered is that after making this sandwich, before I can eat it, I have to raise it up to my nose and sniff it. And this is not me delicately wafting the aroma of the sandwich towards my nose, this is me sniffing that sandwich like a hound dog on the trail of an escaped convict. However, as strange as all of this is, I think I know why I do this.

A few months ago, I was eating a sandwich and after a few bites, I had to stop. Something just wasn't right; the sandwich tasted like it had been soaked in booze. After a little Encyclopedia Browning, I discovered that it was the bread that was the problem; I was eating turkey with Booze Bread. Needless to say, it was the most traumatic sandwich experience of my young life. Now I may be getting my science messed up here, but I'd had that bread in my kitchen for like 2 weeks, so I am thinking the bread had begun to ferment. Thus was born the only meal that can satisfy a raging alcoholic with a hankering for lunchmeat. It was a disturbing episode in my lunchtime chronicles and I am eager to never experience it again, which is why I now have to smell the bread to make sure it's not Booze Bread. I just felt like I had to clear the air on that.

In other news, I watched a great movie last night that I hadn't seen in a while, Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man. I remember seeing that when I was around 15 and just losing it, because I had no idea there were movies like that; it was just so weird and so wonderful. Should you not happen to watch it, no big whoop, I'm not going to cry about it. It's not like I devote 30 minutes to entertaining you every day, and then when I encourage you to see one damn movie, you literally poop all over me. It's not like at all. Ungrateful bastards.