Aloha, brothers and sisters. It appears that one of our national treasures, James Brown, has run afoul of the law again (note the delightfully terrifying mugshot). If anything, this fiasco makes one thing apparent: James Brown needs diplomatic immunity, pronto. If President Bush were serious about getting re-elected, he'd make that a high priority. His to do list should read:
1. Kill some terrorists.
2. Straighten out that economy thing.
3. Get the Man off JB's back. He's just doing his thing.
With that, they'd be putting him on the 20 in a matter of weeks. If Bush isn't man enough to do it, Al Sharpton is. End of story.
But anyway, the world's greatest mug shot makes me want to revisit one of the greatest foolies I've ever done. Two or three years ago, I scoured the web for the most bizarre picture of a woman I could find. Once I had it, I created a terrifying online persona for this woman, and then created a truly bewildering Yahoo Personals ad for her. I would have to find the contents of the ad in order to share the brilliance with you, but suffice it to say, it was pretty sweet. Sweeter still was when a few deranged men were intrigued enough to respond to it. And the sweetest of all was when these men realized what was going on, and then hunted me for sport. Long story short: hilarity ensued.
As I was typing that out, I got the feeling that maybe it was time to play match maker again. So, I created another Yahoo Personals ad, this time for James Brown. The fatcats at Yahoo have to approve it before they'll post it. I have no clue whether or not they're going to do it, but once it's up, it'll be under the name sir_weinerbiscuit. You better believe I'm posting a link to that bad boy ASAP. Just to whet you appetite a little bit, here's a portion of the part where I describe who I'm looking:
I'm looking for a woman with a car, an affinity for cattle prods, and an UNQUENCHABLE ZEST FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!
If anyone reading this happens to work at Yahoo, you know what to do.
Posted by Cody at January 29, 2004 6:08 PM