Political Idiots

Wellll, gutentag and bienvenue, homediddlies. How about that John Kerry? He treated that Iowa caucus like a big order of jalepeno poppers last night. He cleaned his plate, and then when Howard Dean came skulking by for the crumbs, he burped in his face and then threw the plate at him. Is that White House worthy behavior? As they say in Old Mexico, si, mucho gusto. I think Kerry needs to get a t shirt that says "Caucus Doodle Doo!" with a rooster on there pecking all the other candidates to death.

I find myself more engaged this year in the political process than I have been in years past. That may be because Old Man Academia is no longer asking for his nightly rub-down, but it could also be because this is an interesting time for our country. The election of 2000 was a minor curiosity for me. It was the first where I was eligible to vote, and since none of the candidates seemed adequate, I decided straight up to go for the most noble fringe candidate. I watched a whole lot of 3rd party debates on C SPAN, weighed my options, and then when the fateful day arrived, I wrote in the name of the Natural Law Party candidate. His name was John Hagelin, I think, and that night when they were showing the results, I saw he got a total of 7 votes in the entire state of Texas.

I think that is what I find interesting about politics. When you get past the barrels of money, the special interests, and the shady dealings, the people who vote are just as dumb as I am. We can vote as strangely as we want to in this country, and there's no way we're going to get beat up for it. And in certain rare occasions, these very idiots can make up 1/7 of an individual's votes for an entire state. That's incredible. When I realized I made up 1/7 of someone's vote that night, I felt like the politicians should've been plying me with booze and loose women to sway my vote. As evidenced by all of the recall intrigue, the candidates obviously didn't try that tactic enough.

I don't think I have a point here, except that I'm glad I live in a country where my disturbing idiosyncracies can have an effect on national affairs. Also, whatever happens this year, I do believe that the election of 2004 is going to be a real zootysnatcher. Allow me to be the first to say it: Hagelin's just biding his time.