Day 4 of Jacottgate

After much thought, I decided that if Carlos was going to hate the site, I should at least have some fun with it. I humbly present to you then my list of reasons for countersuing Carlos. Not only that, but I put all of the rest of the site back up. Hopefully, that will turn this from an "oh sweet jesus!"-style legal fiasco to a "ha ha ha, you scamp"-style delightful misunderstanding. In the event that doesn't work, let's all start looking into a Goulash Defense Fund right now.

Hopefully, all of the Jacott intrigue has been put to bed. Let's focus on something more soothing, like the proper cockfight etiquette for my trip to Mexico this weekend. Nothing gets a cockfight afficionado riled up quicker than some brash newcomer, walking around like he owns the joint. To honor the rich and storied history of fighting roosters, here's a quick run down on do's and don'ts for your next event.

• Do wear a suit and tie to the fight. These animals are professionals, and they deserve to be treated as such.
  
• Don't wear a glittery ascot, as this could enrage one of the roosters and result in your neck being pecked off.
  
• Do get there early to get a seat near the front of the ring. You really become a part of the action that way.
  
• Don't shriek like an old woman if you happen to get temporarily blinded by the blood. Instead, yell to your neighbor, "He's a feisty one!" and immediately begin looking for a hepatitis test.
  
• Do applaud politely after each fight. Shake the winning trainer's hand, if you can.
  
• Do not shower the winning rooster in Cristal and free prostitutes, as you would a victorious human athlete. Not only do roosters not like champagne, but the prostitute is its natural enemy.
  

Have a good weekend, everyone. I will attempt to post some bewildering and terrifying pics from my Mexico trip on Sunday.