Putting My Dad In His Place

Three day weekend today, so no big, fancy entry for you savages today. However, since tomorrow is my dad's birthday, I thought I'd distribute a few choice age-related insults in case any of you see him tomorrow. Try these on for size:

I wouldn't say my dad's old, but he urinates primordial soup.

I wouldn't say my dad's old, but the best man at his wedding was Australopithecus africanus.

I wouldn't say my dad's old, but whenever you cut him off in traffic, he'll yell out "Go back to Mesopotamia!"

If you happen to see him tomorrow, definitely unload one of those on him. To make sure his ancient ears don't garble the message, you'll probably want to send the insult via telegraph, as that is the only method of communication he's comfortable with (because he's old, get it?).