Sesquicentennial Boogaloo

I don't mean to get everyone riled up, but today's a big day here at Goulash. As of right now, you are getting the business from entry #150. Yeah, we're talking sesquicentennial, hombres. What is the proper gift for the 150th anniversary? A new pair of culottes? A wheelbarrow of miniature sweet pickles? A play date at Terry Bradshaw's house? Whatever the case, I'm going to love it. You are all way too generous.

You may remember that for the 100th entry, we had a throw down here in Austin the likes of which hadn't been seen since the Police Academy 4 wrap party (see best night ever). It was a lot of fun, and I was tempted to do something similar for the Sesquicentennial. I came to the conclusion though that celebrating every 50 entries would be kind of sad, like when a football player launches into an elaborate celebration after a first down. We only celebrate after the touchdowns around here because we're professionals, and that's why we're saving the revelry until we hit 200. If you want to cry about that, then how about I really give you something worth crying over? I've got a one way ticket to Spanksville for Mr. Boo Hoo and I'm not afraid to use it.

So anyway, let the record show that we're now on the downward slide for the bicentennial, which will be in mid-April here in Austin. I really could've summed all that up in about a sentence, but then I've been wanting to threaten to spank you guys for a while now.

In other news, no new responses to my James Brown personal ad. What is it with you people? I can comprehend why I get the cold shoulder treatment from females who aren't related to me (a few reaons: eczema, kleptomania, crippling fear of breasts), but JB? He's the godfather of soul! Get on it, internet people! Secondly, would someone here be willing to help me make some images for Goulash (I'm talking to you, Willie Ed)? I'm trying to fancy the place up and it just isn't working for me. In return, I will be your butler for one weekend. Finally, since it's so cold right now, I thought I'd let you guys know I came up with a good saying for when you're talking about frosty weather: "Is it chilly in here, or did I just get violated by a rectal thermometer made out of popsicles?" It's a little graphic, but it'll do the job.