March 22, 2004

Birthday Princess

Look out, folks; birthday princess coming through! I hit the big 23 today. That's slightly old, but nothing too bad. It gets mildly depressing when I convert it to dog years, though. 161! I'm almost older than Moses! At that age, I could've ridden a tandem bicycle to school with James K. Polk! I don't even wish to consider the task of giving out birthday spankings to a 161 year old. Not only would you need a team of marathon spankers, but the spankee would almost certainly die in the midst of an avalanche of swats.

One of the coolest things I've gotten so far is a cookie bouquet from my mom and sister. Most of the cookies are shaped like computers, complete with little cookie monitors showing bar graphs. Not only that, but the centerpiece of the whole bouquet is a big bear-shaped cookie, all decked out in a suit and tie. There are two messages I could get from that. One: I am the grizzly of the software world. I thought I had already established that, but it's good to hear someone else admit it. Two: it's a sign from God that my mission in life should be teaching Excel to wild animals. I'm slightly conflicted about that, but I'm willing to give it a shot provided my students are eager and devoid of any blood-lust.

Now, as sweet as today has been, it could've been a little bit better had someone jumped out of a cake for me. I don't know if that happens in real life or not, but I think I deserve it. And I don't want some half-assed gesture with a 6 foot tall plastic cake with lots of ventilation holes. I want a real, regular cake that somehow manages to conceal a scantily clad woman. That may require the use of magic, I don't know. But it is 364 days until my b day rolls around again, so I think you guys have ample time to figure it out.

Posted by Cody at March 22, 2004 6:09 PM