March 29, 2004

Junior Mints, 101

Things just got a little more interesting at work. No, I wasn't fired, and no, a rabid capybara wasn't assigned to be my new partner. The big news is that the powers that be are now stocking Junior Mints in the vending machine. Perhaps to you, this doesn't qualify as a momentous event. However, as Treasurer Pro Tem of the North Austin Candy Appreciation And Confectionary Ingestion Society (NACACIS), I have to say this is the biggest snack related event to hit 78727 since the Skittles Embargo of 84. As such, I decided to devote some time today to researching the storied history of Junior Mints. Put on your candy learning pants!

Did you know...

  • Junior Mints are manufactured by Cambridge Brands, a subsidiary of Tootie Roll?
  • They can be yours for a mere 60 American cents? To you old-timey folks, that's 4.8 bits.
  • Some kind of crazy fashion lady made a dress out of Junior Mints boxes? I am guessing all of this was done to woo a hypoglycemic guy.
  • Junior Mints were supposedly developed by James Welch? While this is a popular legend, the first Junior Mints were actually crafted by the Incans from the testicles of their dead foes.
  • One of the main ingredients in Junior Mints is something called confectioner's glaze? This is just another example of the candy industry's notorious sexual inneundo-laden marketing.
  • Thomas Edison credited all of his success to a diet of stewed prunes and Junior Mints? He loved Junior Mints so much, he gave up inventing in the last 10 years of his life and devoted his time exclusively to writing letters to Mr. Junior Mint in Yummy City, USA. The post man didn't have the heart to return the letters.

    Is there anything tastier than the intersection where candy and knowledge meet? You're welcome, people of the Internet!

    Posted by Cody at March 29, 2004 6:23 PM
    • Comments

    And I should note that tonight, after a year long break from all physical activity, I tried to get out there and active. I think my heart is about to explode. I now see the beauty of morbid obesity.

    Posted by: Cody at March 29, 2004 6:45 PM

    The village misted very oft-repeated, eaten away at the edge like the moon which had commenced to wane, and Kuranes wondered whether the over-simple adipex of the cross-licensing houses transported sleep or death. He was recumbent, having fallen in a kind of convulsion which heaved to his evocative dashed body a frilly rigidity. He was, West nervously endorsed, a congenial stranger whom we had met at some keen bar of irregular location. After uncovering the entire surface, which appealed of twenty-four hand-in-glove granite allegra, we surprised back some distance to survey the charnel scene

    Posted by: paxil cr at April 3, 2004 2:08 PM

    i think this is all stupid theres no good info

    Posted by: at September 17, 2004 2:45 PM

    Great discussion. Just a slight change in the subject. You may be interested in one of these seasonal tax topics: Federal Income Tax - Federal Income Tax - http://federal-income-tax.irs-us.net ; HR Block - HR Block - http://hr-block.irs-us.net ; Income Tax Filing - Income Tax Filing - http://income-tax-filing.irs-us.net ; Income Tax Online - Income Tax Online - http://income-tax-online.irs-us.net ; Income Tax Preparation - Income Tax Preparation - http://income-tax-preparation.irs-us.net ; Income Tax Return - Income Tax Return - http://income-tax-return.irs-us.net ; Income Tax Software - Income Tax Software - http://income-tax-software.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Filing - Online Tax Filing - http://online-tax-filing.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Prep - Online Tax Prep - http://online-tax-prep.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Preparation - Online Tax Preparation - http://online-tax-preparation.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Return - Online Tax Return - http://online-tax-return.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Service - Online Tax Service - http://online-tax-service.irs-us.net ; Online Tax Software - Online Tax Software - http://online-tax-software.irs-us.net ; Tax Calculator - Tax Calculator - http://tax-calculator.irs-us.net ; Tax Cut - Tax Cut - http://tax-cut.irs-us.net ; Tax Deduction - Tax Deduction - http://tax-deduction.irs-us.net ; Tax Filing - Tax Filing - http://tax-filing.irs-us.net ; Tax Forms - Tax Forms - http://tax-forms.irs-us.net ; Tax Preparation Service - Tax Preparation Service - http://tax-preparation-service.irs-us.net ; Tax Preparation Software - Tax Preparation Software - http://tax-preparation-software.irs-us.net ; Tax Preparation - Tax Preparation - http://tax-preparation.irs-us.net ; Tax Programs - Tax Programs - http://tax-programs.irs-us.net ; Tax Refund - Tax Refund - http://tax-refund.irs-us.net ; Tax Return Preparation - Tax Return Preparation - http://tax-return-preparation.irs-us.net ; Tax Return Software - Tax Return Software - http://tax-return-software.irs-us.net ; Tax Return - Tax Return - http://tax-return.irs-us.net ; Tax Software - Tax Software - http://tax-software.irs-us.net ; TaxCut - TaxCut - http://taxcut.irs-us.net ; Turbo Tax - Turbo Tax - http://turbo-tax.irs-us.net ; TurboTax - TurboTax - http://turbotax.irs-us.net ; Thank you for your interest.

    Posted by: Uncle Sam at January 18, 2005 1:00 PM