Junior Mints, 101
Things just got a little more interesting at work. No, I wasn't fired, and no, a rabid capybara wasn't assigned to be my new partner. The big news is that the powers that be are now stocking Junior Mints in the vending machine. Perhaps to you, this doesn't qualify as a momentous event. However, as Treasurer Pro Tem of the North Austin Candy Appreciation And Confectionary Ingestion Society (NACACIS), I have to say this is the biggest snack related event to hit 78727 since the Skittles Embargo of 84. As such, I decided to devote some time today to researching the storied history of Junior Mints. Put on your candy learning pants!
Did you know...
Junior Mints are manufactured by Cambridge Brands, a subsidiary of Tootie Roll?
They can be yours for a mere 60 American cents? To you old-timey folks, that's 4.8 bits.
Some kind of crazy fashion lady made a dress out of Junior Mints boxes? I am guessing all of this was done to woo a hypoglycemic guy.
Junior Mints were supposedly developed by James Welch? While this is a popular legend, the first Junior Mints were actually crafted by the Incans from the testicles of their dead foes.
One of the main ingredients in Junior Mints is something called confectioner's glaze? This is just another example of the candy industry's notorious sexual inneundo-laden marketing.
Thomas Edison credited all of his success to a diet of stewed prunes and Junior Mints? He loved Junior Mints so much, he gave up inventing in the last 10 years of his life and devoted his time exclusively to writing letters to Mr. Junior Mint in Yummy City, USA. The post man didn't have the heart to return the letters.
Is there anything tastier than the intersection where candy and knowledge meet? You're welcome, people of the Internet!
Posted by Cody at March 29, 2004 6:23 PM
