Was it really only 8 days ago that yours truly incited the largest haiku shit-storm in the history of the Internet? My, how the days fly by when you're immersed in poetry! Going into this whole thing, I was expecting a maximum of 3 entries for the Goulash Haiku Contest, 2 of which would be in Japanese, with the third being extremely lewd and sent by a convict/family member. Surprise surprise, not only did I receive 76 entries, but all of them were in English. All of you who entered certainly have your priorities in order. The unfortunate aspect that comes with the volume of submissions is picking a winner. Had things gone according to plan, it would've been a snap to just name everyone a winner and send out a few pieces of homemade crap. That's not quite an option with 76 entries and the laziest man in the universe as a judge, so I had to devise something else.
If there's one thing this site has stood for over the course of nearly 200 entries on Goulash, it's quantity over quality. With that in mind, the other judge (take a bow, nunchuks) and I decided to honor the three most prolific poets. Luckily, the three who sent in the most also sent in some of the best. Now, who are these mysterious bards? To anyone who has been paying attention to the comments, numbers 1 and 2 are evident: Danza and P Diddy. Apparently, these two just sat by their computers with some vienna sausages for nourishment and a bucket to pee in, and focused on the haiku for a week. A piece of homemade crap is the very least I could give them for their devotion to the cause. The third winner is marginally more interesting, but let's not start peeing our pants over it.
Winner #3 is a man of mystery who submitted his entries via email. His name is Stephen Fay, and he sent in a total of 12 entries, all of which were of most outstanding. I've posted his entries in the comments of today's entry. Their homemade prizes will be made this weekend by my day laborers, and will either be presented at a black tie affair here in Austin, or by your local mailman, if the winner's tux is in the cleaners. If Warwick Davis ever responds to my email, I will also try to get him to MC the event (don't hold your breath).
Congrats to the winners, and well done to all the contestants. I am glad we'll all be on the same side when the Haiku Wars erupt.Posted by Cody at March 16, 2004 6:00 PM