Searching for Warwick Davis

Allow me to predict the top story on tomorrow night's news.

"An unexpected wave of absences struck businesses of every sort today across the globe. While the standard worker's excuse was a relapse of Monkey Pox, we have discovered that most people are simply staying home to finish up their last minute entries into the Goulash Haiku Contest, which ends Monday at 11:59 PM. The fact that some people think they can compete with haiku-juggernauts Danza and P-Diddy astonishes this reporter, but then this isn't the first time that people have gone overboard for one of Cody Powell's homemade treats. Cheech Marin has requested we refuse to elaborate on that last statement until his appeal has been heard."

Yessir, the contest ends on March 15th at 11:59 PM, so now is the time to pull out all the stops and make your bid for immortality. Don't be scared to scorn your loved ones for next 32 hours; no one can stay mad at a champion.

Speaking of champions, does anyone have any suggestions for the Bicentennial interview? When the Centennial rolled around, I interviewed Schumin on my 100th post and it was really great. So great, in fact, that interviewing Schumin may become a regular thing every 100 entries. My first idea was to interview Warwick Davis, the guy who played Willow. I can't really explain why Warwick Davis, except to say that he just seemed like the perfect guy. After mentioning that one time on here, someone left his address in the comments. I mailed him a letter asking him if he was down, but I've yet to receive a response. I don't blame Warwick for this; I blame the long-standing feud between Warwick Davis and the US Post Office. Or, perhaps more likely, me having no idea how to send mail internationally.

Due to that snafu, I must ask the most futile question in the history of the world: does anyone know Warwick Davis? If you do and you can get him in contact with me, I will send you $10 American. We're talking paper money here, folks, and what you do with it is completely up to you. Let's call in some favors and see what happens here.