The storm clouds are gathering on the horizon, friends. We all know about the humiliation documented in yesterday's entry, thanks to the nefarious Google-fixing activities of one evil Hungarian. In addition to that, Will, my roommate for the last 3 years I was in San Antonio, sucker-punched me Saturday while I was drinking a beer at Tim's b day party. Finally, Will shows his true colors; your name's on the list, buddy. And then there's the fact that Toby Keith won't stop sending me dirty telegrams. I admire your erotic artistry, Toby, but I do not share your sentiments on us doing it.
Yes, lots of bad news, but if there's one thing that this site is about, it's making a positive out of a negative. In fact, if I had to sum up Goulash, I'd do it thusly: "When life gives you lemons, peel the lemons. Then use the peels to construct a fancy yellow mask. Put the mask on; you are now Lemon Man. You travel from town to town, making people eat citrus and convincing the elderly not to trust the UN."
In that spirit, I would like to announce the first ever Goulash contest. Here's how it's going to work. Everyone has one week from today to send in their best Goulash-inspired haiku, and the winner will get a special homemade treat. If you happen to be giggling at the thought of it, let me tell you now that I couldn't possibly be more serious about this. Just email me at email@example.com with your entries. You can enter as many times as you want, but your entries have to be submitted by March 15th at 11:59 PM.
In case you're stumped as to how to start, here's an example of a Goulash-inspired haiku.
man. Cody doesn't dance for
Carlos any more.