March 8, 2004

The First Goulash Contest

The storm clouds are gathering on the horizon, friends. We all know about the humiliation documented in yesterday's entry, thanks to the nefarious Google-fixing activities of one evil Hungarian. In addition to that, Will, my roommate for the last 3 years I was in San Antonio, sucker-punched me Saturday while I was drinking a beer at Tim's b day party. Finally, Will shows his true colors; your name's on the list, buddy. And then there's the fact that Toby Keith won't stop sending me dirty telegrams. I admire your erotic artistry, Toby, but I do not share your sentiments on us doing it.

Yes, lots of bad news, but if there's one thing that this site is about, it's making a positive out of a negative. In fact, if I had to sum up Goulash, I'd do it thusly: "When life gives you lemons, peel the lemons. Then use the peels to construct a fancy yellow mask. Put the mask on; you are now Lemon Man. You travel from town to town, making people eat citrus and convincing the elderly not to trust the UN."

In that spirit, I would like to announce the first ever Goulash contest. Here's how it's going to work. Everyone has one week from today to send in their best Goulash-inspired haiku, and the winner will get a special homemade treat. If you happen to be giggling at the thought of it, let me tell you now that I couldn't possibly be more serious about this. Just email me at cody@codypowell.com with your entries. You can enter as many times as you want, but your entries have to be submitted by March 15th at 11:59 PM.

In case you're stumped as to how to start, here's an example of a Goulash-inspired haiku.

Internet sexy
man. Cody doesn't dance for
Carlos any more.

Three lines of 5 syllables, then 7 syllables, then 5 syllables. You can submit as many as you want. Extra points will be awarded for profanity and sexual inneundo. Now get to haikuing, you bastards!

Posted by Cody at March 8, 2004 6:21 PM