March 8, 2004

The First Goulash Contest

The storm clouds are gathering on the horizon, friends. We all know about the humiliation documented in yesterday's entry, thanks to the nefarious Google-fixing activities of one evil Hungarian. In addition to that, Will, my roommate for the last 3 years I was in San Antonio, sucker-punched me Saturday while I was drinking a beer at Tim's b day party. Finally, Will shows his true colors; your name's on the list, buddy. And then there's the fact that Toby Keith won't stop sending me dirty telegrams. I admire your erotic artistry, Toby, but I do not share your sentiments on us doing it.

Yes, lots of bad news, but if there's one thing that this site is about, it's making a positive out of a negative. In fact, if I had to sum up Goulash, I'd do it thusly: "When life gives you lemons, peel the lemons. Then use the peels to construct a fancy yellow mask. Put the mask on; you are now Lemon Man. You travel from town to town, making people eat citrus and convincing the elderly not to trust the UN."

In that spirit, I would like to announce the first ever Goulash contest. Here's how it's going to work. Everyone has one week from today to send in their best Goulash-inspired haiku, and the winner will get a special homemade treat. If you happen to be giggling at the thought of it, let me tell you now that I couldn't possibly be more serious about this. Just email me at cody@codypowell.com with your entries. You can enter as many times as you want, but your entries have to be submitted by March 15th at 11:59 PM.

In case you're stumped as to how to start, here's an example of a Goulash-inspired haiku.

Internet sexy
man. Cody doesn't dance for
Carlos any more.

Three lines of 5 syllables, then 7 syllables, then 5 syllables. You can submit as many as you want. Extra points will be awarded for profanity and sexual inneundo. Now get to haikuing, you bastards!

Posted by Cody at March 8, 2004 6:21 PM
Comments

Does it have to be abuot goulash or can it just be goulash inspired?

Posted by: xyz at March 8, 2004 6:36 PM

Whichever. As I antipate getting a maximum of 3 entries, you can pretty much do whatever you want.

Posted by: Cody at March 8, 2004 6:42 PM

How bottles will break
Goulash Bicentennial
Machete for Boj

Posted by: Frito at March 8, 2004 6:51 PM

Hot damn, you people have some serious catching up to do after Frito's entry.

Posted by: Cody at March 8, 2004 7:14 PM

CodyPowell dot com
Starting the weinerbiscuit
Viva la Goulash

Posted by: Danza at March 8, 2004 7:37 PM

My plan for Bicentennial:

Jager is yummy
No throw up on Cody's bed
Stay up until ten

Posted by: HoPo at March 8, 2004 7:56 PM

Suddenly the competition gets a little more interesting.

Posted by: Cody at March 8, 2004 9:02 PM

Bye, Centennial.
Goulash says, "Make room for some
Bicentennial!"

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 8, 2004 11:31 PM

A crowded topless box
Cold Jagermeister for all
Sweet bliss soon arrives

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:12 AM

Blast! My first line has 6 syllables! I chalk it up to the early morning hour. I have brought shame to myself and my family. Please accept this new haiku, dedicated to Cody's rubber tree, as an apology.

With tinsle you shine
Filling the corner with vim
Death will soon be here

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:20 AM

I'm on a roll:

Oh, Mike and Julie
Take the party up a notch
Punch Dave every time

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:24 AM

HoPo and Jager
Looks like someone likes the sauce
Time to change the sheets

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:26 AM

Bicentennial
How can we top it, you ask
Tricentennial

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:29 AM

In the Topless Box
Just Cody and Paul rock out
Homoerotic

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:31 AM

More Goulash, less Centennital:

Five postings a week
Must be three paragraphs long
Herve Villachez

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:35 AM

The Goulash updates
Only Sunday through Thurdays
I hate the weekends

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:37 AM

A lot of haiku
Legal memo unfinished
Procrastinating

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 2:39 AM

Someone is taking the offer of a homemade prize VERY seriously.

Posted by: Cody at March 9, 2004 9:22 AM

Chicks with dicks are no
Match for the freakish genius
Of Cody Powell.

Posted by: Timbo at March 9, 2004 10:02 AM

Spread the Goulash name
Kick the Hungarian's ass
Take back Number One

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 11:25 AM

Loved Centennial
Live for Bicentennial
Die for the Goulash

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 11:27 AM

Circle of Jager
A Danza made Topless Box
We all bleed Goulash

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 11:28 AM

Fuck you Pdiddy
The prize is as good as mine
You should just give up

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 11:56 AM

June Nineteenth 'O3
C-Po bangs at the keyboard
Goulash hits the scene

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 12:00 PM

Why did he do it?
We don't know. He threw away
the first topless box.

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 12:04 PM

Goulash tastes like shit
Must include nature to be
a haiku fucktard

Posted by: matt at March 9, 2004 1:22 PM

Danza and Diddy:
Only thing they like more than
haiku is hand jobs.

And let's just ignore that little nature thing for now.

Posted by: Cody at March 9, 2004 1:25 PM

Who is the fucktard?
None of us have used nature
Clarify yourself

Posted by: Pdiddy at March 9, 2004 1:33 PM

Do not need nature
The only requirement
A hint to season

Bicentennial
Goulash and Carlos Jacott
These are our seasons

Posted by: Danza at March 9, 2004 5:07 PM

Oh, why do you care?
All you have to do is share
in your underwear.

Posted by: Timmy Lioi at March 9, 2004 8:11 PM

I made a mistake. The meaning was lost in my first one. I present another:

Oh, why do you care?
All you have to do is share
what's hiding down there

Posted by: Timmy Lioi at March 10, 2004 2:41 AM

a little less bark
my dog bites goulash and you
bite bite arf arf arf

Posted by: rainY at March 12, 2004 5:59 PM

6431 really nicely done. i hope all works well in timefree credit report

Posted by: free credit report at September 9, 2004 3:18 PM

5233 http://www.briana-banks-dot.com for Briana Banks movies. or if you would rather diecast here.

Posted by: Briana Banks at September 9, 2004 3:59 PM