Rule Numero Uno

Ohh Thursday entry, you are always the hardest. Do I slam you out of the park and leave my audience panting for more, or do I mail you in and then steal off into the desert? Today, I am shooting for the latter. Not because I don't have anything to write about (although this does play a part), but because today's entry violates the cardinal rule of Goulash. And what's the point of me typing and then laminating the rules of Goulash if I'm not even going to pay attention to the most important one? Sometimes, I disgust myself.

But anyway, for those of you who don't have the leather-bound Goulash rulebook, rule numero uno is: I don't do Goulash if I don't have to work the next day. As you'll see on the company calendar, I get tomorrow off, yet I'm still typing here. I can do that because there are exemptions to even the cardinal rule. If any of the following conditions are met, I can violate the cardinal rule:
- I happen to have a Sacajawea dollar in my possession
- I finish an entire carton of fruit punch by 6 PM
- I beat a mule in a footrace
- I'm accidentally referred to "Lanny"
- I satisfy that day's productivity requirements for my homemade razzleberry jam business
- I have a dream the night before about starting a jug band with the Sasquatch
- I receive a profane phone call that day from Rowdy Roddy Piper
- The post falls on the last Thursday before the Bicentennial post

I'll leave it to the reader to determine how many of those conditions apply to today (hint: all of them). But anyway, exemption or not, I have nothing to say, except that Easter is coming, I can't get my X Box to work, and I'm getting tired of flossing. If evolution wasn't a myth of the liberal media, we'd have self-flossing teeth by now. I'll save that for another time, provided I'm not cut down in the streets for sharing such incendiary opinions. Vaya con dios, amigos.