Squalor City

People of Santa Margarita, California, I would like to direct the following statement to you. When I touch down tomorrow for 4 days of training, I expect to see boundless enthusiasm for both rocking out and pipeline compliance. If you so choose, you could combine the two and see where that leads us. But so help me God, if I notice any member of your community lacking the passion for either one of those, I'll barricade myself in the Holiday Inn so fast, you'll think I'm some sort of half-man/half-cheetah. This is one paragraph you can take to the bank.

Since I'm going out of town for work tomorrow, I have no idea if I'll be updating for the rest of the week. After the Bicentennial massacre, I think we could all use a little break from the 'lash. By "we", I of course refer to myself and the army of Malaysian 7-year olds who write this thing for a penny a word. Mahathir, Abdullah, and Mustafa, take a few days to go out and play with some elephants or something. Of course, if you're not back on Sunday, I will put a bounty on each of your heads. We've got a winning team here at Goulash and I'll be damned if your third world escapades break it up.

I feel as if I must add a PS to yesterday's entry, the Bicentennial recap. I spent all day yesterday in a sleep-deprived, hung-over haze. Today, when I returned to the real world and regained my familiarity with the standards of acceptable familiarity, I came to a disturbing realization: my apartment is trashed, smelly, and broken. I take a pretty laid-back attitude towards all this, as I know one must crack a few eggs to make an omelette. Nevertheless, I'm quite grateful to be leaving town for a little while, meaning the only one who'll have to deal with the squalor is the unfortunate squatter who takes up residence in my adobe. Let's make a deal, Mr. Squatter: As long as you clean the joint up, you can have all the hobo parties you want.

On that note, I take my leave of Austin. Who knows if I'll be able to update while on the road, but I'll give it a shot. If I'm unsuccessful, stay alive, people of Goulash, I will find you upon my return!