Warming up for the Bicentennial

On April 17th, we're going to eat so much cheese and crackers at my house, we'll all have to wear sweatpants. Why is this? Because April 17, 2004, is the day of the hallowed Goulash Bicentennial, where we'll gather together in Austin to celebrate 200 posts of Goulash. I can't remember if I've written about this exhaustively, but since some people continue to ask me when it is, I thought I'd go ahead and lay the hammer down here. April 17th, Austin, TX, at my apartment. If you don't happen to know where that is, go door to door until you find it. If your knuckles are allergic to the knock-knock motion, you can just email me and I'll let you
know.

Since this ought to be one hellacious hootenanny, we should examine what sort of behavior is and is not acceptable. The last thing anyone wants is to be deprived of Topless Box priviledges because of an etiquette faux pas. So, let's break down what you can and cannot do at the Bicentennial.

You can:
- Have a moderate amount of fun without parental supervision.
- Go for seconds on the vegetable platter.
- Enjoy a round or two of risque Scattergories.

You cannot:
- Steal my underwear and then pawn them.
- Drink all my booze and then urinate freely on my belongings.
- Eat my rubber plant.

Are we clear on that? These rules will be posted on each wall in my apartment in neon paint, in case anyone forgets. Unless a wealthy benefactor steps up to the plate, this baby is going to be BYOB. It will also be BYOSP (bring your own stewed prunes) and BYOP (bury your otter's pudding). I swear to God, if I saw one container of otter pudding that's unburied, I'll light myself on fire and take all of you with me. Let's not let that get in the way of having a little fun,
though.