CdM

Cinco de Mayo en la casa! Can someone explain to me why I've seen no Mexican restaurants offering a Cinco de Mayo Pie-o today? The rhyme is right there, people. I don't know exactly what one would find in a Cinco de Mayo Pie-o, maybe some guacamole and beer inside a pie crust. Then you could ride around the parking lot on a burro while you eat your pie-o. The only group that reads goulash more than prison inmates is restaurateurs, so I look forward to seeing this idea implemented later tonight.

I am going to try to find a Cinco de Mayo happening tonight because I feel like I've kind of let this holiday down in the past. It's an established fact that no one likes Mexico more than me (see for yourself), not even the drug runners. In addition to that, I lived in San Antonio for a long time, where Cinco de Mayo is a major deal. Despite these two facts, I haven't yet celebrated Cinco de Mayo in a way that involved me tossing a sombrero up in the air and then shooting at it. I've certainly made an effort, though. Last year, I tried to do it up right by actually going to Mexico on Cinco de Mayo, but then when we got there, it wasn't that big a deal. Yes, it was still great because it was Mexico, but George Washington's birthday was a much bigger party than that. I tried to be mad at Mexico for this, but I can't; one of the reasons why I love it so is because its citizens have their priorities so out of order.

This year, I get it right. I will eat, drink, and perhaps fall in league with some banditos. I will search out an army of Frenchmen and destroy them, in keeping with the legend of the holiday. I will go to a futbol match, get way too into it, and set the opposing team's bus on fire should they win. And then, at the end of the night, I will go to Cheech Marin's house and see what he's got going on, because I bet he does it right.