Good gravy, I feel like Memorial Day tied me up in a sack and threw me into a river, so today's entry will be short and sweet. First, have I mentioned that I'll be in Las Vegas next week? I only have 4 days to lose all my money, get beat up by a prostitute, and have a hit put out on me courtesy of Wayne Newton, but I'm confident it can be done. Actually, the only thing I'm confident about is coming home a millionaire. I'm going to win so much, they'll make me stop betting money and start betting them for the white tigers at the Mirage. I hope those tigers like coleslaw, because that's all they're getting at Powell Manor.
Second, I was planning on buying Paul an inflatable woman for his birthday, but at the store I visited, all of the models were out of my price range. $200? I'm a fan of comedy, but not at that price. I began to ask them if they had an air mattress that I could put some lipstick on, but modesty prevailed. Instead, I bought him some sort of gay Nazi sex novel, which came with a free DVD. The name of the free DVD is so vulgar, I'm convinced I hallucinated it. I didn't know it was financially possible to get two horribly inappropriate gifts for $8, but the Ennis, TX adult video store answered the call. Kudos, gents; you are truly the epicenter for all deviants on a budget. Better entry tomorrow, when I'll be full of wiz and vinegar again.
Posted by Cody at May 31, 2004 8:18 PM