FFTB

I guide my life via wisdom accumulated from two sources: fortune cookies and traffy wrappers. In fact, this method has worked so well for me, I've tried to combine the two and create a taffy cookie from which I can learn the secrets of the universe. So far, I have been unsuccessful. This is bad for those who love knowledge, but good for the taffy makers of America, whom I would almost certainly drive out of business. In fact, these taffy makers are so terrified, they have resorted to extreme lengths to destroy my progress, going so far as to paying street people to give me wet willies whenever they see me passing by. It is extraordinarily unpleasant. However, not even the candy fat cats of this nation can dissuade me in my tireless pursuit of answers. Thus, I will continue my taffy cookie experiments until I create something that no longer induces uncontrollable bowel movements and religious hallucinations.

Anyway, until I sniff the intoxicating aroma of success, I am sticking with taffy wrappers and fortune cookies. The end result of this combo is that I can walk around town vaguely nauseated from all of the sugar, with a good head on my shoulders and two pockets full of wisdom. Now, I don't remember which of the two that the following phrase came from, but for me, it is one of the principles behind Powellosity. In fact, I feel so strongly about it, not only is it written on the elastic of all my underwear, but it is usually my sole defense when I am caught trying to steal something from a locker at the bus station. The phrase of which I speak is, of course: fortune favors the bold.

Okay, an interesting look into the mind of one Codewell Von Coderton, but what's the point? Well, fortune favors the bold was a line I uttered to myself roughly 10,000 times on Saturday. In light of monsoons, attempted drownings, me losing my favorite hat, clandestine slip and slide operations, and a car that got stuck on the railroad tracks, it was the only thing that kept me sane and on the path to righteousness this weekend. For those of you who don't obsess over my activities with stalker-like fanaticism, I am talking about the tubing trip we took this weekend. It was both fun and slightly terrifying, much like being the guy who must spoon-feed Marlon Brando his tapioca pudding each morning. And because I was drinking a bit throughout the whole thing, that's about the best way I can sum it up.