International Fun Brigade

One of the interesting things about having your own site is poring over the usage statistics. It's triumph for some, tragedy for others, and confusion for the rest, as they wonder why they're so beloved in the Czech Republic. I usually occupy that last camp. In fact, one of my main sources of delight is to check out my logs and try to imagine the response that's evoked when visitors from Uruguay stumble across this site. Here's a brief impression: "Que? Por que Chewbacca dicen eso? Aye aye aye!"

In light of that, today I'll be taking a look at the country of origin for my readers. They're ranked in order of popularity.

1. United States. This is no great surprise, since the only thing more American than Goulash is George Washington's wooden teeth. I don't know if it's all rumor or not, but I did hear something about Congress creating a new Infinity dollar bill, just so they could put my image on it.

2. Australia. I guess I could see this: I'm wily like an Aborigine, and I do like some Men at Work's earlier albums. Also, when I was little, I got a boomerang from the museum and I used to try to throw it around my backyard. I don't think I ever succeeded in getting it to come back to me, but that didn't stop me from hurling that thing around anyway, with it usually coming to rest in our neighbor's compost heap. Australia gives me an A for effort for that one.

3. Belgium. Apparently, the Belgians love me more than they love sugar beets (their #1 crop). I think it's precisely because I can talk about Belgian agriculture that they love me so much. I wonder if most of these folks are Flemings or Walloons. I don't want to alienate anyone, but I'm rooting for Walloons.

4. Netherlands. Belgium's Goulash fever must be contagious, and is now spreading over to the Netherlands. Or perhaps there's just something about the North Sea that makes people want to visit the site. I have no idea, but I will suggest that the people of Belgium and the Netherlands immediately start a letter-writing campaign to their respective governments so that I can make a goodwill tour over there. Luxemburgians are also invited to participate.

5. Taiwan. This one is easy to explain: my mail order bride is from Taiwan, so this is probably just her friends and family checking up on her. No worries, guys, Yong Ti is doing quite well and I promise she can use the computer again once she learns how to properly mend my pants.

PS: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS, the trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie is online.

Posted by Cody at August 18, 2004 6:43 PM