In Cody Powell lore, this weekend will come to be known as the Weekend of Intrigue and Scarification. What started with a completely terrifying phone call received Friday morning at 1 AM just wouldn't quit until I was given a cursory overview of a variety of horrifying deaths (drowning, lightening strike, rabid raccoon attack), courtesy of the Guadalupe River. To clarify that last bit, my comrades and I decided to go tubing on the Guadalupe River on Saturday. It turned out to be far more exciting than we planned, as the date fell exactly during the 1 day long monsoon season of Central Texas. There was so much water by the end of the day, I seriously considered hauling buns to the forest and creating an ark from tree branches tried together with the draw string from my bathing suit. That would've been splinter city though, so I abandoned it after an initial set of blueprints.
The best part of the entire trip was the bus ride at the end back to the place we had parked. We were wet, drunk, and in high spirits. As I sat there, waiting for us to leave, reflecting on the day of great excitement, I could've sworn that everyone around me was talking excitedly about raccoons. I too am fascinated by the raccoon, but I usually keep it to myself. After a few minutes of confused questioning put to those around me, I deduced that someone in our midst had brought a raccoon onto the bus. I'm as much a fan of rascalism as the next guy, but I draw the line at kidnapping woodland creatures and forcing them into confined spaces with lots of loud drunkards. That'd be hilarious if it were a subplot in Meatballs 4, but it becomes slightly more frightening when it's playing out in real life, a few feet from your genital region.
Anyway, shortly after we pulled away from the river, one of the guys sitting with the raccoon stood up and yelled, "Who here has a buzz?" Much hooting and hollering followed. After it had died down, I raised up and bellowed, "Who here's got a raccoon?" If some members of the bus didn't know what I was talking about, they certainly didn't show it, because the response was deafening. It's always nice to know that when I get fired for gross incompetence, I can make a living as the MC on the bus that goes between the river and the parking lot.
Posted by Cody at August 29, 2004 4:11 PM