Calling All Trinitonians, Part 3

Hmm, I'm intrigued how Brendan Adkins, Centre alumnus and Internet simpleton extraordinaire, has had absolutely nothing to say on the upcoming Trinity vs. Centre football contest since I started up my Rivalry Week posts. Either he realized the error of his ways, or more likely, he and his fellow Kentuckians are trapped in a coal mine after a hootenanny went awry. Someone please tell the rescue workers to pass along the following message: mine collapse or not, I expect my bowl of pudding, Brendan! Please don't make me take this matter to the Division III Sportsmanship Alliance, or whatever entity handles such disputes. By the time I get through with Centre, it'll be a taxidermy training academy.

Unfortunately, the Goulash coffers don't contain enough to fund a trip to Kentucky to watch the Centre/Trinity game on Saturday. In fact, all the Goulash coffers contain are Canadian quarters and Funyun wrappers. I'm really beginning to question to my decision to make Octopussy the site treasurer; she wouldn't know a double entry accounting system if it amortized her remaining eyeball off. Anyway, I will have to cheer the team on from the confines of Powell Manor, pretending all the while that I'm actually in Danville, Kentucky. This shouldn't be too hard, if I bust out all of my windows and replace my bed with a moonshine still. You see, I feel completely secure in saying these things because the literacy rate in Texas is 1/18 of a point higher than it is in Kentucky. Okay, that's enough of that.

Isn't it interesting Alex Rodriguez goes to the Yankees from the Texas Rangers, and the Yankees then proceed to experience a monumental collapse against the Red Sox? On behalf of all Texas Rangers fans, you are welcome, Red Sox. We don't want to brag, but we kind of have this kiss of death going (see Chan Ho Park). (also see the state of the USA since former Rangers owner George W. Bush took over.) In light of that, victory was fated for the Red Sox the minute that trade went through. Really, I say all Rangers fans give up on baseball entirely and become voodoo warriors, travelling the countryside and cursing people for profit.