Best of 2004 Muzak

I've been operating in slow motion all day long because of some cold medication. We had a developers' meeting this morning, and I raised my hand to ask a question. By the time I finished speaking the question, the lights on the room were out, they'd impounded my car in the parking lot, and the robots had taken over our civilization. Medication, like parachutes and piranha repellant, shouldn't be chosen on the basis of price alone.

Since we're essentially at the end of the year, I feel obligated to share with you, my humble army of elderly Chinese women and prison inmates, the music I enjoyed the most in 2004. While reading this list, please keep in mind that I wouldn't know cool if it served me a stack of of poisoned flapjacks. We'll start at the bottom of the list.

5. Dogs Die in Hot Cars, "Please Describe Yourself"
What the hell kind of band chooses 'Dogs Die in Hot Cars' for its name? Every time I start playing this CD, I feel like I need to make a contribution to the Humane Society. Nevertheless, the music is insanely catchy so I can't help but like it. I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Just imagine you're in the kitchen, making up a special feast for some of your favorite people. "Please Describe Yourself" is playing in the background, and slowly, you start to get into it. After a few minutes, you're nodding your head and doing a little shimmy. You start to listen a little closer. By the end of the CD, you're moonwalking across the kitchen floor while singing into a spoon. And all the while, your cake is burning up. You think Dogs Die in Hot Cars is going to dispose of that mess? Think again, buster. Best song on the CD: Celebrity Sanctum.