Well, it appears that I was a little hasty last night when I bought a portable defibrulator because I feel better today. Actually, that brings up a question: what's the return policy on black market medical technology? I'll be a little embarrassed if I'm the one who has to educate Icepick Slim and his homies on the basics of customer service. Anywhozzle, it's good that I'm recuperating; I have a catered social affair on Friday. Nothing says "Get this chump out of here" like me vomiting and then passing out on the dance floor. You think they'll care that this time it's legitimate, and not the result of an excess of raw sausage and champange? It'll be a cold day in hell before I meet a security guard who has any of the Christmas spirit.
As I hinted, the office Christmas partay takes place on Friday night. It'll be a pretty swank affair, with all of the dudes in ties. I assume by that, they mean neck ties, and not a homemade suit made from twist ties and railroad ties. I don't like my chances of making one of those in the next three days that's fit for public viewing. It ought to be a good time, if only because it combines three potent elements: booze + customer geeks + a dj. I don't know what the end result of that is, but I'm going to guess that someone strips down to their undies and dances the robot. I will do everything in my power to ensure that someone isn't me. (Vegas puts the odds at even money.)
This may surprise you, but I don't get invited to a lot of these fancy grown-up parties. If I want to rock out with adults, I have to go down to the train yards and kick it with the hobos. How different can those two gatherings be? The hobos have catered meals, they all just happen to be roasted possum with a side of caulk. They also have a dance floor down there. Yes, I am probably the only one who uses it, and that's usually because Crazy Steve is brandishing a shiv and demanding entertainment. And just like at the hobo parties, I'll gladly offer to dump out the coffee can into which we've all been relieving ourselves. I'm looking forward to a classy time.
Posted by Cody at December 15, 2004 6:44 PM