Is there a hierarchy of Santa Claus impersonators? Maybe the really, really good ones get to appear in commercials and tv shows. The decent ones work in the nicer shopping malls across the country. And the kinda creepy ones find themselves getting peed on by a parade of basset hounds and siamese cats down at the Petsmart. Today, Octopussy got to experience that little slice of winter majesty; her combined with drunk Santa formed the least excited pairing to grace Mr. Claus's chair since the birth of baby Jesus. I don't blame the cat, though. If I had been forced to sit in that guy's lap, I would've bit his ear off and then dove into one of those carpeted cat gyms. I swear he was working there just to get a discount on flea powder. You KNOW I got pictures to commemorate the occasion/identify the perpetrator. They will be posted at a later date.
I mentioned last time that I'd be doing a run down of the best music of 2004. Now, this isn't a universal list that all should regard as law; I am, after all, the man who paid good money for Wrex n Effect's Rumpshaker. Nevertheless, this year featured some catchy little ditties, and I'd be laying down on the job if I didn't share it with you, the anonymous perverts of the Internet.
4. David Dondero, "The Transient"
I think I read about David Dondero in the Onion AV Club. He plays music I'd expect to hear right outside the bus station, strummed maniacally by some hobo trying to scare up enough money to get home. However, instead of a jug to pee in, David Dondero carries with him a collection of crazy, anxiety-ridden, white boy blues songs. Usually, white guys who play the blues have long perms or wear leather pants or insist that others refer to them as Watermelon; Dondero should be congratulated just for avoiding that. But his songs are good, sort of chaotic and catchy. For him, I wish nothing but the finest cheese sandwiches from the bus station vending machine.