The Internet has ruined you all. I slave for tens of minutes yesterday, trying to produce up with a photo-realistic portrait of President Bush with a rubber chicken, and then when I'm finally done, not a single person leaves a comment. Julius said it first: Et tu, Goulash? The next time I feel the need to create an amusing picture, I'm leaving you guys out. Instead, I'll just email it to everyone in Antarctica, since to my knowledge, no one from there has ever visited the site. And so help me God, if I discover a reader of this site has moved to Antarctica specifically to receive that email, I will commandeer the nearest dog sled and come after you.
I'll be so mad, I won't even feed the dogs. I'll keep them hungry so that when they finally get us there, they can chase you around for a while. After a few days, the dogs will run you into a cave where you'll have two choices: face the dogs or become a polar bear's love slave. (For the particularly twisted, both is a possibility.) Just when you think the ordeal is all over, I'll unleash my second set of hungry sled dogs. As you frantically jab at your pursuers with an icicle, keep in mind that if you had only commented, you'd be at home, making French toast in your underwear, rather than in the midst of an Antarctic nightmare. Okay, I believe I covered that topic pretty well.
What else is there? Since Danza's bachelor party starts tomorrow night, none of you may ever hear from me again. If, by chance, someone finds a shred of evidence indicating that I may still be alive, then scour the port-o-potties in the Wal-Mart parking lot. That's usually where I go when I'm frightened. In conclusion, have a good weekend, stay out of trouble, and pray for the state of Louisiana.
Posted by Cody at January 27, 2005 8:10 PM