Intro to Pizza Parties

No one told me this, but apparently college has become much more difficult since 2003. I realized this last night, midway through my first homework assignment. What began as a mere set of 10 proofs slowly turned into an all-night hissyfit session. You see, in my memory of college courses, we had reference materials, like textbooks and articles. We would then refer back to these materials when we had a question about the class. Not so anymore. Instead, the professor cryptically told us the first day that we'd be coming up with our own textbooks. Let's not even get into the fact that I don't know how to work a printing press. Instead, let's focus on the fact that some of us are in class merely to sharpen up the mental butterknife, not necessarily to displace Doogie Howser as the intellectual luminary of our time. Nevertheless, I decided to give his method a shot.

The results were mixed. After a few hours of work, I had succeeded in disproving Pythagoras, Euclid, and the framers of the Constitution. Then, as the crowning glory, I proved that not only did I no longer exist, but if I did, I'd be a middle aged Kenyan woman. However, I did manage to finish all of the problems, more than could be said for any of my fellow students. Whether page after page of smiley faces and dinosaur cartoons constitutes finished in the professor's mind is another matter entirely.

Today in class, we had to present our work. As one might expect, it got ugly. So ugly, in fact, that I should've brought a ventriliquist dummy with me, just to take some of the heat off of me. It was a little too intense for a non-degree seeking student. Immediately after class, I made an executive decision. The course seemed really interesting, and the professor was great, but I needed something a little less conducive to me wetting the bed. And so, resolved to fight another day, I dropped that thing like a hot potato and began looking for a course more my style. Sadly, Intro to Pizza Parties was already full. I will live to learn another day.