I was driving home for lunch today, and there was a delivery van parked in front of my neighbor's place. After I passed the van, I glanced in the mirror to see who it was, and I could've sworn it said 1-800 WEREWOLF. Immediately, my brain was flooded with questions. Would you call in to that number for werewolf prevention, or to order werewolf attacks? If they offer both, isn't that a conflict of interest? Had I missed out on a 10 o'clock news expose, detailing the North Austin werewolf problem? Was 1-800 WEREWOLF so powerful that it now controlled the media?
Whatever the case, I felt vindicated by my decision to fill my glove compartment with silver bullets. Really, what is proof of insurance going to do during an attack by an army of monsters? An attack that would, I must note, probably be phoned in 1-800 WEREWOLF (or a subsidiary, like 1 800 DRACULA or 1 877 SWAMP MONSTER). Anyway, after this 5 second bout of mania had passed, I looked back to see what the van actually said: 1 800 FLOWERS.
Before a petition is started to institutionalize me, remember that I originally read that backwards, and flowers and flowerew (werewolf backwards) are awfully similar. Unfortunately, this explanation doesn't really cover why, a few minutes later, I set a UPS truck on fire, thinking it was full of mummies. If I'm on monster patrol, I take no chances; I'll leave it at that.
Posted by Cody at February 16, 2005 6:34 PM