I realize how quickly this site is turning into Cody's Wacky Public Transportation Adventures, but I will share another bus story anyway. Today, when I got on the bus, I sat down in front of two individuals who were having a rather animated conversation. After just a few moments, I gathered that one of the guys was planning to beat someone up. I'm no expert when it comes to assault, but this guy had concocted a really well thought-out plan. He knew where it was going to happen (in front of a convenience store), how he was going to start it (shove the guy into the bike racks), and how long he had before the cops would arrive (30 minutes). I was so impressed, I think this gent should go to work for NASA as the chief planner behind the space shuttle trips. If he did, we'd go to Mars in a month, it'd cost $78, and when we left, all of the Martians would have broken ribs.
Sadly, like most of the other bus riders I meet, he was a little unhinged. Every few minutes, he'd shout out a completely nonsensical description of how badly the other guy would get beaten. His favorite was, "I'm going to beat him so bad, you'd think he was selling something!" Selling what, I wanted to ask. Red blood cells? The need for urgent medical care? Anyway, as the talk continued, I got swept up into the mania and began conversing with the guy some about the big fight. When we reached my stop and I got up to exit, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You have a good day in class, young man." Overwhelmed by emotion, I replied, "And good luck to you beating that guy up." It was a good start to the day.
Valentine's Day is coming soon, and tomorrow will feature my own inept attempts at romance. In case anyone out there could use a few hints, I will now borrow a few words from the love master himself, Barry White. As Barry put it, "There's only way day to treat her right / to love her good / to buy her fancy cheese / and then grate that cheese / and put the grated cheese on tortilla chips / with some jalepenos on the side / Serving up the love nachos, bay-buh / It's Valentine's Day / and you gotsta gotsta eat up." I really have nothing to add there.
Posted by Cody at February 10, 2005 7:14 PM