It's Sunday, so let's hit the archives of stuff that never made its way to cp.com.
If you parked your car in Jesus's driveway for 12 hours, do you think he would tow it? I have been thinking about that a lot since Sunday and I have concluded that not only would Jesus not tow your car, but he'd probably wash it for you while it was there, with a really fancy sponge to boot.
On Sunday, I was responsible for getting a car towed from a church parking lot after it had been there for 12 hours. Then, I was the one responsible for paying $110 to get that car untowed. In addition to those things, I will also be the one responsible for throwing a cup of pee at the person who got my car towed. Actually, that may be crossing some kind of unspoken line, but I will definitely give that person's bottom a swatting they won't easily forget.
I won't deny that they had the legal right to tow the car, but it just seems so harsh for them to do that when the car was only parked there for one night. And also, it was parked right next to the dumpster in the crappy spot that no one wants to use except the hobos who probably don't tithe. I think it is way unchurchy for them to do that after 12 hours, and I plan on writing a letter to the Pope and to Cat Fancy magazine condemning that church.
Someone here beat the ever loving bejesus out of my tailbone last night. It's weird. I go to sleep with my tailbone as fit as a fiddle; I wake up the next day feeling like I spent the night sharing a cot in the big house. I can't sit without leaning really far back or sitting as straight as possible because of the pain that is caused whenever I try anything between the two. So, I spent most of the day at work today sitting like Snoop Dogg for an hour and then sitting like the 5th grade class president for the next hour.
I am starting to think that maybe it isn't my tailbone that is hurt, maybe I am just growing a tail. That would be bad because I'd have to start shopping at the Pants For People With Tails Store, but good because then I could spank people and they wouldn't know it was me. Yes, there is a trade off to having the tail. It is a trade off I am willing to embrace, though.
Posted by Cody at March 20, 2005 7:16 PM