Loophole Master

Yesterday's abrupt and unpleasant entry was the result of a horrendous day at school and work. Kudos to the University of Texas for attempting to ruin my academic future, but I believe I have found a loophole. A loophole! As good as I am with loopholes, I sometimes think I should be writing merger agreements for billion dollar companies. If I were doing that, immediately after both sides signed, I'd turn to the guys and say, "I neglected to mention this until now, but the employees of both companies are now my personal slaves. It's called a loophole; now get into your loin cloths and carve me a monument."

I do this thing where if something bad happens, I immediately play it out in my mind to its worst possible end. Yesterday's situation was that I'm unhappy with one of my classes and I'd like to get out of it. The extreme I went to yesterday was that I wouldn't be allowed to drop the class, I'd fail it, I'd get thrown out of school, my stench of failure would drive me to unemployment, then I'd get evicted and have to live in the streets for the rest of my life. Within a few seconds, I was already searching for the nearest homeless shelter that I could move into. Free toothpaste was a big plus in that search, since I imagined the dental hygiene industry would no longer want anything to do with me.

Hopefully, the aforementioned loophole will save me from this ignoble fate. If it doesn't, I'm not completely screwed or anything. Not yet. I'd have two more months to live the high life, and then the screwing would occur. Two more months of wearing shoes, eating at Arby's, and not having to fight deranged Vietnam vets for the remote control. Should this loophole unexpectedly close between now and tomorrow afternoon, I ask that someone please say good-bye to the Horsey sauce for me.