I've got some bad news for those of you who work with me: you owe me $5. I predict that in the very near future, my left butt cheek will droop noticeably as I strut through the halls, weighed down by all of the money in my wallet. If you want to go to Arby's or a garage sale or a garage sale at Arby's anytime in the near future, you better hit your wall safe because the cash in your pocket is going to this guy. If you write checks like an old lady, you may make this one out to Cody Powell, Professional NCAA Basketball Bracket Buster. In case you don't know, the Tournament is starting soon and I won't rest until I win my office pool.
It's going to take some luck to do this. If memory serves, I didn't even come close to winning last year. That's what happens when the school I picked to win didn't make it into the tournament. In fact, it didn't even have a basketball team. That's the last time I bet on Julliard to win any athletic contest. Sure, they could out-aria the Kentucky team any day of the week, but good luck getting a mezzo-soprano to make a 3 when it counts.
I'm not just picking teams that basketball, but teams that play basketball well. How do I determine this? Well, let me ask you: in a basketball team, would you take Duke over Delaware State? Of course you would, and that's why I'm taking your money. Maybe you didn't know this, but Delaware was the first colony in the USA to ratify the Constitution. While all the other colonies were wasting a bunch of time debating over a document, do you know what the people of Delaware were doing? They were all practicing their jump shots. (I'm pretty sure there are some wood gravings to back all of this up.) By all means, pick your Dukes and your Illinoiseseses. History is on my side, as are the basketball gods. Pay up or get beat up, chumps.
Posted by Cody at March 15, 2005 5:55 PM