Somehow I forgot that today was Saint Patrick's Day. How on earth could I think I'd finish up a contest on a day which would ordinarily be spent searching for leprechauns? Anyway, as I said yesterday, I held a Goulash contest for the worst song on which I could spend a download on iTunes. As one might expect, the people of Goulash rocked the polls. Really, I don't understand how the central nervous system of this fair site withstood the barrage of votes; Goulash must be so smart that it's creating its own neural network. Nevertheless, after a few hours of tabulating the results and narrowing it down to two finalists, I was faced with a stark and terrifying decision: did I really want to get into a recursive iTunes competition? Allow me to explain.
The winning prize for this contest is an iTunes credit that I won off from a contest on iwannaspankjenniferlovehewitt.com. The administrator of that contest entered my contest, and I soon foresaw an endless chain of contests, where the only two entrants were the two of us. I'd be so intent on beating Shawn, I'd give up on society entirely. I'd sit around in sweatpants, screaming obscure zydeco songs at my monitor, all in a feeble attempt to triumph in our increasingly esoteric contests. It'd get so bad that I'd eat applesauce with my hands and throw the empty containers at the mail man, with the excuse that I had a contest to win, a contest with no other competitors. I've been down this path, friends, and it's not a pretty one.
And so, with all appropriate fanfare, the winner of the iTunes credit goes to Mr. Chippy, who blew all other contestants away when he suggested a Billy Ocean song. Billy Ocean played a pivotal role in my favorite Mr. Show sketch ever (Operation Hell on Earth), so it was a little unfair for me to allow the compettition to proceed after I saw that enter. I don't care, though. I run Goulash like my own banana republic. If I want to allow a contest to run after I've already picked a winner, so be it. And if I want to write an entry after I've been drinking on St. Paddy's day, well, I don't know who's going to stop me. Thanks to all of you who entered the contenst, and here's hoping you manage to memorize my favorite Mr. Show sketches before I hold the next one.
Posted by Cody at March 17, 2005 8:28 PM