Not a good weekend, chums. My throat started hurting Thursday night, when I was seeing Episode III. I secretly think the pain was from Darth Vader doing his dark side choke-hold on me for laughing at some of the dialogue in the movie. (I'm no storm trooper, Darth; if people are going to passionately declare, "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo," then I am going to laugh. If you have a beef with that, we'll settle it like men with a light saber duel on top of a river of lava.) Now it's Sunday, and even though I enjoyed the movie for the most part and admitted so in public, Darth Vader continues his dark side choke-hold on me. There is no honor among the sith lords.
Aside from the pain, the throat is causing me a lot of stress. I have a big weekend coming up (Operation Golden Earring). No, not a big weekend, a huge one. What do you think my fellow yahoos will say when I request hourly stoppages in the shenanigans so I can gargle some warm salt water? I'll tell you what they'll say: "Fie on you, Cody Powell. If I wanted to take a trip with a sick, miserable bastard, I'd go down to the 60 Minutes studio and kidnap Andy Rooney."
Also, I need to show New Orleans a thing or two. The last time I was there, I was only 3 years old. I can't imagine I acquitted myself well then, what with the crying and the lack of bladder control. I've got to show them that in 21 years, I've handled one, if not both of those issues. My regional reputation is at stake here, and so I must heal. For the next few days, I will be communicating solely through hand gestures and hip swivels. After a few days fo rest, I will then speak, loudly with great authority. There will be no doubt who the sheriff in this town is. If you think I'm taking this situation a little too seriously, then clearly you've never been involved with a weekend that has a code name.
Posted by Cody at May 22, 2005 6:43 PM